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Friday, January 2, 2009
 Sometimes I wonder if a birthday is one step closer to death or another year of life. I would say life but to be honest, I couldn't feel more dead if I tried. Numb. Like there's nothing in the world that can get to me because you've taught me to be carved out of stone. I hate you for that, I do. I hate you for a lot of things. I forgive you, really I do, but I just can't forget. I wasn't easy to forgive, but it's a hell of a lot harder to forget. I can't forget when all I want is you. That was my birthday wish, you know. To be yours. If I do recall, that one time I threw 30 pennies into the fountain at the mall, I said your named every time it hit the water. Oh, and that time I saw a shooting star? Your name flashed across the sky in a trail of star dust. I'm gonna go ahead and tell the whole goddamn internet because I know it won't come true anyway. You never do. And this was not how I wanted to spend my birthday. I shouldn't have lay down last night at 6 AM and immediately start to cry. I shouldn't have had the playlist on my iTunes entitled "sad" blasting in my ears. I shouldn't have been getting up every 10 minutes for a tissue because I couldn't stop crying. I shouldn't have had you on my mind. I should've been excited about what presents I was going to get. I should've been thankful this is a fresh start for me. I should've been happy about the birthday decorations adorning the house. I should've. But somehow, these days, you have come before everything else. I want to forget. I love you, now I want to forget you. |
forever young;
my name is lauren. just a kid. not unique, just unusual. bandom fangirl. hypochondriac. afraid of moths. southern you'd like to fuck (;. fall out boy. can piss in under 20 seconds. d.o.b.; january 2nd. html whiz.
caffeine addict. single, uninterested. livejournaler, facebooker, myspacer, tumblr'r, blogger, neopeter. plays piano and clarinet like a motherbitch. noel fielding, simon amstell, russell brand<3. animal rights
activist. borderline vegetarian. (un)cool kid.famous friends;
jeaniebeaniewow, can't you tell i'm popular? maybe my friends are the uncool ones for being addicted to myspace. earn what you get;
design: pure:HS daily blogbasecodes: detonatedlove image: photobucket your links here. best times of our lives;
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